The Strangest Things
by Moiranne Rose
Summary: Written as a Challenge from moon mysteri: When you throw a party for a certain redhead Weasley, and you have to show your devotion to her by buying her a gift, be prepared for a number of strange things to happen!


**Title: The Strangest Things**

**Summary: When you throw a party for a certain redhead Weasley, and you have to show your devotion to her by buying her a gift, be prepared for a number of strange things to happen!**

**A/N: Written as a challenge for a friend. It is/borders on crack. So be warned!**

* * *

Harry was in a dilemma.

His girlfriend, Ginny, had demanded, of all things, a Barbie Doll for her birthday. She told him specifically which doll, what clothes and even what shoes. And he thought she was a tomboy!

Well, now he was stuck in a shop, that was practically oozing Barbie Dolls. He looked from one Barbie to another, and couldn't find out why they were different. They had the same hair, same physique, same blank eyes and the same plastic smile. They looked like the "perfect" girl. But then again, to him, the perfect girl had red hair, not blonde.

He looked up and down the aisle. There was no one to assist him in finding the Barbie Doll for Ginny. He frowned, forehead creasing in frustration. He needed to be out fast. Who knew? What if his picture would be splayed across the Daily Prophet and the Quibbler, proclaiming him to be a sissy? He didn't want that.

There was a "pop". He felt a presence next to him. He turned to see Professor Dumbledore smiling at him.

"Professor?"

It was wise to say Harry was utterly dumbstruck.

"Oh...hello Harry."

"What are you doing here, Professor?"

"Um...it was my turn to watch over you in your...ahem...escapade. The Order's regulations that you can't be out alone because-"

"Yeah, I know. Because I'm too weak to be alone against Voldermort! Because I actually didn't survive the Killing Curse!" Harry hated the way the Order tagged along with him **everywhere**. He couldn't even go on a date with Ginny without Tonks or someone jumping out of a bush to take a picture.

"Now now Harry. This is for-"

"Yeah, for my own good!" Harry had gone into a black mood. He was just trying to stay unnoticed, but now, it seemed like he was getting attention by his numerous outbursts.

"Harry. Please. Try to make this simpler for me. I was just wanting to try out a new spell I made when Remus turned up on my doorstep to tell me it was my turn."

"Well then, I'm sorry Professor." Harry snapped and turned back to the shelves.

"Hey look! It's Potty!"

Harry knew that voice.

"Draco..."

"Who knew that when my mother dragged me out to the Muggle market to get groceries, which is _such_ a bore, I'd see you socializing with a senile Professor and a bunch of plastic dolls?!" The Slytherin Prince failed to mention why _he _was even in the Barbie Doll shop.

"So why are _you _here Malfoy?"

The Malfoy heir curled his lip in distaste.

"Certainly not to see you, Potty."

Their stances had unconsciously moved into the offensive ones. Their wands were out of their pockets within minutes.

Too bad Malfoy got to his a fraction of a second earlier.

Harry was knocked back by the force of the spell. Malfoy smirked, saluted his Headmaster in a way which clearly showed that he didn't respect him in the least, and left the shop, with nothing more than a tinkle of the bell near the door.

"Have fun, Potty."

"Harry? Harry?" Dumbledore hardly knew what Malfoy had cast on Harry, and he wasn't going to try and duplicate it to see how it worked.

Harry jumped up suddenly. He proceeded to start making out with a Barbie Doll. Though it looked more like he was eating her plastic head. But there was not much difference, he was still making a fool of himself.

"Harry!" There was no stopping him really. Malfoy's spell was probably some twisted version of a Love Potion Harry couldn't resist. There was only one thing to do...

"Stupefy!"

Harry slumped over in a dead faint.

Dumbledore thought his troubles were over.

Big mistake.

He was getting thirsty, and really needed a drink, so he waved his wand, trying to Transfigure the nearest Barbie Doll into a drink dispenser. Sad to say, his spell hit the mirror that egoistic Barbie was holding and promptly bounced into, who else, him.

A drink dispenser, proudly proclaiming that it sold Coca Cola in 5 different flavours, took his place in the store.

All was peaceful, for the next half a minute.

Then the poor shop was assailed by a fresh wave of madness and chaos.

Severus Snape was completely humiliated for the 125th time in his life. The past 124 times were from a certain James Potter. This time, it was by a Hermione Granger. She had dragged him out of the comforts of the Hogwarts Dungeons, to put in place one of her new plans, Free Hug Day. Like her other project SPEW, this was pretty bad too.

He lagged behind his rather enthusiastic and one of his despised Gryffindor student. He did not share her enthusiasm at hugging every person who passed him, thank you very much.

This boredom was continued till he saw, to his horror, Blaise Zambini, Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe and Goyle doing a tribal dance (yes, you heard me) in front of a large crowd of screaming Muggles. He could have died of shock.

But Snapes don't die so easily.

They were revolving round a totem pole, with strange carvings. What were they trying to do?

"Arageitwogmvasiregnavdoaegj..." They mumbled jargon. Snape raised an eyebrow slightly. Hermione hit him for not giving the small girl near his feet a hug.

Snape rushed up to them. "What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

Pansy turned, looking rather possessed and creepy.

"_We seek the destroyal of all things Muggle."_

She sounded a bit like that barmy old bat, Trelawney, when she said that.

Snape concluded, as Hermione dragged him off, that,

The world had gone bonkers.

* * *

**A/N: Granted, this is my second Harry Potter fic. But it's my closest to crack I've come. The challenge, by moon mysteri, was:**

**1) It must be set in a Barbie Doll Shop**

**2) Harry must start kissing everything he sees.**

**3) Dumbledore must turn himself into a drink dispenser.**

**4) Someone must do a tribal dance.**

**5) Snape and Hermione jointly set up a stall giving out free hugs.**

**Hoo boy, that was strange! And cracked!  
**

**MR (still not begging, just wishing.)**


End file.
